Out of Practice

f-tree-p1010581I set up a separate blog for posting my
family tree about three years ago but haven’t had
time lately to do anything with it.

You may have noticed I’ve not done all that much
with this one either!

But this morning I woke up thinking about this
picture that Mum embroidered for me back in 1990.
I wanted to post it on the Family tree blog but can’t fathom  how to make it work! Talk about out of practice!

I did finally work it out – can be seen here.


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The night is dark
All are asleep
nastieSave me
Alone I face them
The demons, the gremlins
Who are these faceless creatures
Of the dark?

They tell me
I will die
That something bad
In my blood
Will get to me
Before my labours
Can bear fruit.

But there is anotherdaf
Where darkness is soft
And peaceful
Where I step out boldly
For I am loved.

This night
Is the hidden
Side of light
The womb of the dawn
Harbinger of hope
Assurance of eternity.

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Picked from the garden.

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A Story

Once upon a time there was a cupboard full of toys. One shelf belonged to the cuddly toys, mostly old, worn and threadbare. There was a monkey with scratchy hands and a moth-eaten waist coat, a velvet elephant with a missing ear, a piglet with a missing arm, an assortment of bears and a cat whose whiskers had been pulled out.
A very small boy lived in the house. He had a favourite bear called Teddy. Teddy did not belong in the cupboard with the other bears; he, along with Woolly, the boy’s comfort blanket went everywhere with the boy.
At bedtime, the boy, Teddy and Woolly would go to the cupboard, collect the other cuddlies and, the boy’s arms overflowing, they would all make their way up the stairs to bed.
One evening as the boy struggled to place his short legs one in front of the other on the stairs, he wobbled a bit and the cat fell from the pile bouncing down the steps to land at the feet of his sister. She picked it up and tried to give it back to him. But he didn’t want it.
The girl was left holding this dropped, rejected thing. She didn’t want it; had never found a use for stuffed toys. But its rejection tugged at her heart and empathy welled within her. So she took it to her own bed. And there it stayed for years and years; recipient of her confidences, partaker of her hurts and disappointments, sharer in her hopeless dreams; emotional anchor holding her soul in place as she went about her daily life.
Until another claimed her soul and acceptance, not rejection, became the order of the day.

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Bold, brave and beautiful

P1000904. dafThere is a lone daffodil bulb outside my kitchen window which doesn’t flower every year but it holds a special significance for me when it does.

‘The day of the daffodil’ is a phrase that reminds me not to worry unduly about job changes, career problems and the like: in due season things will work out, plans fall into place. Spring  brings fresh hope and that daffodil in particular acts as a symbol of hope.

Last week it was there smiling at me, telling me not to be downhearted about a particular hiccup in life. Then a hard frost laid it low. I went out and propped it up with some nearby twigs. I wanted my daffodil smiling its hope. If the flower can stand up and carry on then I too can pick myself up and carry on.

All was well for a couple of days then the wind blew it out from the supporting twigs; I looked out the window and there was my beautiful, brave, bold flower back on the ground. This morning I went to the rescue again complete with a piece of string and tied it to the twigs. Brave and bold,  my flower, and, viewed from the window, still beautiful, but close up the battering it has endured shows; the petals are damaged.

That particular flower will not recover but the plant will flower again; if not next year, then
maybe the year after. And in the meantime it is bold and bright.

My battered flower remains a symbol of hope.

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Orange mocha coffee

swirl detail
One of those happy accidents! a bit of turning out of cupboards revealed a forgotten box of orange flavoured chocolate sticks from a previous Christmas. Somewhat past their sell by date for just eating but stirred into black coffee…

A welcome change from the cinnamon I’ve been using lately.

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Clacton - beacjh 1 Jan P1000831
Clacton beach  on New Year’s day
– looks a bit bleak!

But then, it wasn’t the first picture of the year – as I got out the car I spotted spring flowers.

Maybe the New Year  has more of a welcome in store than might first appear
flower bed Clacton 1 Jan

Some years contain personal anniversaries that act as inspiration. 2015 was like that – ten years since…

It was the year I met someone who said something that triggered a train of events that has profoundly affected my life.

The immediate thing that comes to mind with 2016 is less positive. The time limit for completing my writing course runs out next month and I only ever completed a quarter of the assignments. In practice, I’ve long since given up the ambition of becoming a professional writer but somehow it rather feels like next month that becomes official.

Still, there’s a positive side to everything; musing on this reminds me that it was comments on the students’ forum that introduced me to blogging  and although I’ve not been doing much of this lately, at least it’s still here whenever I feel like returning.

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